3. If you’re the couple that gets drunk and fights, break up. At a certain point, people will just stop inviting you places.
9. Keep sparkling wine in the fridge. There is no greater joy than a mimosa you didn’t have to put clothes on to drink.
16. If you’re still patronizing the same bar you’ve been going to since (insert one-hit wonder that was popular when you were 21 here. If you’re wondering, mine would be Dem Franchize Boyz) was relevant, stop.
24. The person who brought the Jagermeister is the one who ruined your bathroom rug.
